Testimony: Kleintjie Lues
I am Kleintjie Lues of Kroonstad.
I have been with CAD Kroonstad on and off for 15 years.
In 1996 my life began to go wrong with alcohol. At that stage I went through a difficult time with the death of my brother who died as a result of alcohol. I felt that no one understood me and that I have no one with whom I could talk to, because we loved each other and were very close to each other.
I gradually started drinking and became increasingly dependent on wine. It took about a yearr and I was completely trapped. My self-esteem was very weak, I found that I withdrew from people, though I still kept my house in perfect order and caring for my family and myself, so that no one would discover my secret. Our whole family has drifted apart. Each in his own way, until nothing of my marriage and family life was left. I found a way to continue to work and could keep myself from drinking while I worked, but felt very bad in the morning when I had to go to work, and had to drag myself through every day.
Somewhere along the road, I realized that I needed to be helped and that I had a big problem. I went to a social worker at the hospital and asked her to send me away for treatment and was sent to Aurora. Then I was sober for 1 year and 4 months. I felt that I did my family a favour to go for help, but things have only worsened at home.
My husband started assaulting me and also started drinking. It was this squalor which made it easy for me to start drinking again. I kept working and never lost my job however bad it went. I just could not recover by myself or find steadfastness. My husband always dropped me at work and fetched me. One day as I sat in the car, I got a divorce letter in my ID book and saw that my husband was going to divorce me! I felt very cheated and destroyed. After the episode, he hit me and broke my jaw. My son was in matric at that stage. I saw my child will fail under these circumstances and decided to move out for the sake of my child. An Interdict was obtained against my husband (which my work required). Then he had no respect for me.
The social service came to my rescue again. They sent me this time Magallies Village. (13 Nov., 1999). During this time I got advice to get the divorce finalised, because my husband didn’t want to try again anyway. After my rehabilitation I started working at the Voortrekker Hospital. The situation was very bad for me. I was dependent on myself, suffered a lot and was now also divorced.
Then I met someone. Unfortunately the person drank, smoked marijuana and he also assaulted me. Two weeks after my divorce my husband died. My father became very ill at that time. I had problems with my pension. Everything just went from bad to worst. (2002) Mrs. Bosch (Social Service) sent me away again. I no longer cared, I would really go for treatment and just drank and worse.
During the treatment I got permission to visit my sick father and then I ran away for 1 month, during which I drank heavily. Social service tracked me down again and I returned. During this time my father died and I had never seen him. Although I was very sad and it was a very bad time for me, I wrestled with the Lord and came much closer to him.
Back in Kroonstad, I try very hard. I begged on my knees for my k ids to help me because I did not want to back into my bad habits, but my son said he could not. Since I was destitute and without advice I had to stay with my friend again, again I started drinking. At first I was afraid to drink, but later started again. We stayed in the industrial area in a store. I ended up on the railroad and cried to God and asked where to.
Then I got a job at the Palms (Home for the Aged). I went to stay in a school hostel and every day rode a bike to work and back. I was very lonely and suffered and could not “cope”, I did not know how.
One day when I was going with the bike, I started feeling sorry for myself, because my kids treated me so badly and I was expected at my age had to ride a bike every day. The liquor store was calling me. I then bought a bottle and a hamburger and I thought myself a little “treat”. I fell with my bike and broke my arm and decided to return to Henry. Same old pie!
One day I started to feel Wow, I must do something. I found out in time I osteoporosis. I received my little pension and monthly to stay above 2 “shebiens” got surrounded bottle store. I worked as a cleaner for people, ironed them and did deliveries. Then they’d pay me with drinks.
Henry came one day and beat me because I was ironing another man’s shirt.
I was very up and down and stayed away CAD. I knew the Lord was with me but did not ask him because I could not fix and fall very far each time. I was terribly embarrassed. Yet I went to church, even though I was the lost. I fought with the Lord. No institution did more to help me, unless I
or for the treatment could pay someone. I did things with Henry will speak out, because sometimes in spite of the treatment I received from him, I knew he loved me and he was always there for me. Henry was again assaulted me and went to jail.
I began to CAD and go to church and decided it was just me and the Lord. I begged the Lord to give me the necessary understanding to know what I should do and realized that I had never tried hard enough to bring my hand. Then I entered into an agreement with the Lord, that I will try hard. I begin to say to the people that I do not want more drinks as payment and they started for my money, which I bought.
I got a letter from Henry in which he wanted two loaves and a pack of nonsense. It was almost his birthday. I felt sorry for him and bought things and took him to jail. After a struggle I could see him eventually. He was terribly neglected and I was deeply shocked and my heart was very sore. I did not want that he had lost. After he came out of prison, I help care for him but not taken with me, because I did not start drinking again. It was very difficult to stay sober under the circumstances, but realized that it was my last chance, and just wanted the “old life” behind and make peace with other people who hurt me.
But thanks to the LORD’S GRACE AND THE HELP OF CAD AM I NOW 1 YEAR AND 7 MONTHS sober. I TAKE THIS HOUR BY HOUR, DAY BY DAY!!!!!!!
I am now closer to my children. I’m going to be a Grandma and am very excited!!
Kleintjie